I just happened upon your blog. I only have four children; but, I can identify with some of your feelings. Having children is indeed a huge responsibility that never ends, just like the work never ends. Allow me to share a few thoughts.First, it sounds like you are exhausted. I’m not sure if you have access to a grandparent or friend who could watch your kids for you or not; but, I think you need a day away. It doesn’t matter what you do. You need some time to clear your head and think. I had half a day last week that did wonders for me.
Second, try to get to bed at a decent hour, so that you can try to get some good sleep.
Third, require everyone to lie down for one hour each afternoon. They may not nap; but, they must lie down. Older ones need an hour of reading each day anyway. During this time, you can rest, read, pray, or do a load of laundry, whatever will help you gear up for the second half of the day.
Fourth, make sure you’re eating fruits and vegetables, dairy and meats, not just high carbohydrate foods. You need nutrients.
Fifth, you may be depressed. Consider speaking with your doctor about whether you need herbal supplements or medication to help for awhile.
Sixth, I agree with the previous commenter, Raising Godly Tomatoes is a good site. You might also look at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org. They have a free magazine and lots of articles on-line. They have a book called “To Train Up a Child” by Michael & Debi Pearl that is excellent.
Seventh, please know that the first year or two of home schooling is hard for most of us. It must be harder starting with a larger family. Don’t give up!
It does pay off even though we can’t always see results day to day. Look for the good and seize it daily.
Eighth, most of all, pray pray pray pray. You can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens you.